Non Politically Correct
Rules for NCS

The following are rules for the NCS to live by. They ARE NOT very polite but they are correct. These are for people that can look at the rules and the profanity and understand why it was written this way.

IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY PROFANITY, READ NO FURTHER!

• You are not NCS to give opinions!
  Nobody gives a shit what NCS "thinks" so shut up and keep it to yourself.
• Nobody's impressed that you know everybody's call, name and location so keep that to yourself.
• They're check-ins for Christ's sake, you don't need to thank them profusely, or are you just amazed that anyone would be dumb enough to check into a net that you run?
• If somebody checks in in the wrong suffix group, ignore them.
  If they persist in their effort to check into the wrong group, NOTE it,
  "XYZ isn't between ALPHA and HOTEL" implied {asshole}
• You don't need to expound on every check-in or comment made. In fact most people think your mundane ramblings are assinine. Acknowledge check-ins by callsign and MOVE ON!
• If running a terse (a.k.a. precise, efficient) net causes you severe stress, get the hell out of NCS. (See mundane ramblings above)
• If you've got dyslexia and can't copy callsigns for shit -- don't do NCS. Practice the copy of callsigns when you are NOT the NCS and only AFTER you learn how, think about learning the rest of what you will need to know to be NCS.
• If you have to have a roster to be able to handle checkins, why the hell do you think you are capable of being an NCS?
• If the TV or your kids are too much of a distraction for you to run a descent net, go pay attention to your kids. They are worth it. If the TV is more important to you then the net, WHAT THE HELL are you doing as NCS?!
• If you really screw up and acknowledge someone that is not there, AND someone else has to correct you, get the hell out of NCS! (see "meaningful work" below)
• When you call for check-ins, give them time to check-in! If you are back on the microphone button in less then two seconds after ANYTHING happens, get the hell out of NCS! In fact, if you can not wait AT LEAST five seconds after an announcement or after you call for a category of check-ins, tell your EC you need meaningful work that you can handle. Such as cleaning up scraps of paper after the net.     implied {asshole}
• If every time you're doing NCS you're having a bad coffee day, maybe you shouldn't do NCS untill you stop having bad coffee days.
• If your pencil just won't do what your brain is telling it to, maybe you shouldn't do NCS until it does, or you learn to think!
• Listen to the call region! Just because you live in seventh or tenth region it doesn't mean all of your check-ins will be from your call region! If you can't tell the difference between a seven and a zero or a five, DON'T DO NCS!
• Don't apologize profusely for constantly screwing things up, learn to NOT screw things up.
  Then think about learning all of the other things you will need to know to be NCS.
• If somebody screws up ITU phonetics, don't repeat it back THE WAY THEY DID -- make a point of it by repeating it back using the correct ITU phonetics (it makes them wonder what you're up to)
     i.e., Kilowatt Zero Loose Dentures
     NCS: Roger W5VSI, K4ARM, KILO ZERO LIMA DELTA, W0IPL, K0HBZ . . .
     It doesn't take them long to take the hint!
• If somebody breaks directed net protocol, correct them on it nicely, but firmly
     i.e., "Please wait to be acknowledged by NCS before going direct with another station." [UNKEY] implied {asshole}
     or "I'll be asking for late check-ins at the appropriate time." [UNKEY] implied {asshole}